Luka and Identity
Identity is a very personal thing. Even the concept is vague and intangible, and may mean different things for different people. But for most people it’s not even something you have to think about. Your life just evolves. You don’t ever have to change your identity, it just evolves on it’s own but the core stays the same. But what about people who feel they need more of an identity, they feel detached from their own life. This is one thing that I think attracts me to Luka in a strange way. He’s lost, but he seems to be able to come up with countless ways to change himself constantly – plastic surgery, moving around the world, changing names, changing his hair, wearing coloured contacts, changing his clothing style. He looks like a different person in every photograph. These things about him fascinate me so much, just the fact that he able to have so many looks, yet the eyes are always the same, empty but intriguing. There is the occasional smile, but in most photos Luka’s facial expression is absolutely the same, perfectly rigid and emotionless, yet still a perfect pose.
I constantly beat myself up over letting myself be sucked in by photographs of a beautiful monster, but it just keeps happening. I should probably just stop looking at his photos, but I have so many in my head already that it probably wouldn’t do any good. Luka had to have known the effect he was going to have on some people, and I hate that I could be fulfilling the desires of a psychopath for fame and fans, playing right into his hand, a willing contender. Yet I continue; I just can’t change the way I feel about Luka Magnotta. I look at him and I want to know more. I want to look deeper into his eyes to see if he really is empty inside. I want to know if there really is an identity in there somewhere that is really truly him. I want to know if that person deep inside of him really is a monster. I really want to know that there’s just a troubled little boy who lost his mind and went crazy, rather than an empty psychopath. These are things we’ll probably never know.
An analysis of Luka’s Plastic Makes Perfect audition tape said these identity issues may stem from borderline personality disorder. Narcissist, body dysmorphic disorder, social anxiety, bipolar, histrionic, megalomaniac, necrophiliac, cannibal, anti-social, psychopath or just plain lunatic? What are you Luka? No wonder you never had a good sense of self! How many things can possible be wrong in one boy’s head?
His writings on the internet are not even his own, mostly being stolen lines from famous people or movies. It’s almost like Luka doesn’t even really exist, nor does Eric Newman, or any other name he’s given himself. Luka is just an image, an illusion, but not an identity.
Copy and past is his thing. Very few words written by him. You know I also relate to him because at a time I was exaclty the same. Many accounts and blogs differents names with copied articles found in other blogs and magazines, and extremely impersonal materials, poetries…
Being a “fake” as cost me much now I don’t even put pictures of me on my facebook account.
I wonder… Do you read fanfictions ? If so maybe you should write one and get it all out of your system. It might help.
God you’re one fucked one person.
What an intelligent, well thought out comment. I guess I pissed you off so much you couldn’t even say what you were trying to say. LOL
I think that Julie was trying to say that you are one fucked up person. I second that.
This is like an open diary for lexa. We all have an outlet, let her have hers.
http://www.journaldequebec.com/2012/07/06/groupies-de-magnotta your blog is in a montreal newspaper article, thought you’d like to know….
Just noticed in my “spam” comments that you tried to post this 3 times yesterday…not sure why it got flagged as spam.
your blog is in the journal de montreal/quebec… http://www.journaldequebec.com/2012/07/06/groupies-de-magnotta
So is the rest of the world, do you have a cure for the wobbly walls of our mind ?
“wobbly walls of our mind” haha I like that analogy!
Nice writeup but I disagree that everything Luka wrote was plagiarized. There are MANY websites where he poured out his heart, especially about the way his closeted lover Nader Eid mistreated and abandoned him. I wish you were on FB so I could share information with you. Just look at the report he wrote on RipOffReports the night of the murder and his pain 5 years after the breakup when he finally revealed the name and photos of the man who hurt him so much. Then google everything he wrote about his boyfriend for the last 5 years. There’s real pain in a lot of things he wrote and those things weren’t plagiarized. His writings about his childhood weren’t either. It’s revolting how the authorities have been pulling down all the sites he created and where he poured out his heart. Luka exists. He thinks, he feels, he hurts, he loves. He’s a very broken little boy who only felt loved by his grandmother and his sister but even his sister abandoned him. I don’t know about his grandmother.
He’s beautiful but he’s not a monster. Just a broken little boy who did monstrous things because he desperately needed some attention after a childhood of neglect and rejection.
Carmen, I’m going to guess that you’re same Carmen who just found me on FB.
What I meant about the plagiarism is when he writes about topics other than himself…most of that stuff is plagiarized.
Yes lol! The same. Thanks for explaining. You’re correct, he did plagiarize a lot. The minute something’s devoid of spelling mistakes, it’s immediately clear he didn’t write it. Amazing blog btw.
Do you have any links ? Didn’t find much.
“Luka” is a figment of his own imagination. He is a chameleon, switching to who he thinks people want. He desperately wanted to fit–somewhere–anywhere. He would do (and *did*) anything to try to achieve that sense of belonging. One minute he was part of a Russian mob, the next moment he was a White Suprematist, Bisexual…gay…straight. I don’t think he had any sense of self at all.
“Icon”-worthy?
No way.
Sick. Mentally ill. Delusions of grandeur. Culmination of past abuse and present disillusion.
And anyone who idolizes him should take a hard look at themselves.
Thank you for creating this blog! I to am saddened for this man who was doomed from birth to live a lonely existence! No one can understand what it is like to be unloved, disowned and left to fend for them self unless they themselves have endured it! People are judging him by what they hear in the media, but the media does not care about him Or Lin Jun even, they simply want to make a profit. I feel very deep empathy for Luka and I do not think he is a monster! He needs love in his life and I don’t mean romantic love, but unconditional familial love! I don’t believe he has ever known that kind of love and that above all else makes me sad! Who might he have been had he had that love all along?! I too have been treated badly for my views about him, but I don’t care what others think. I am not sick or twisted! I don’t idolize him nor do I wish to diminish what the tragedy that happened to Lin, but I often think that if only someone had tried to reach out to Luka and show him his true worth then this could have been avoided. So once again, thank you and I hope someday Luka has a chance to read this and know that he is not alone!