Luka and Identity
Identity is a very personal thing. Even the concept is vague and intangible, and may mean different things for different people. But for most people it’s not even something you have to think about. Your life just evolves. You don’t ever have to change your identity, it just evolves on it’s own but the core stays the same. But what about people who feel they need more of an identity, they feel detached from their own life. This is one thing that I think attracts me to Luka in a strange way. He’s lost, but he seems to be able to come up with countless ways to change himself constantly – plastic surgery, moving around the world, changing names, changing his hair, wearing coloured contacts, changing his clothing style. He looks like a different person in every photograph. These things about him fascinate me so much, just the fact that he able to have so many looks, yet the eyes are always the same, empty but intriguing. There is the occasional smile, but in most photos Luka’s facial expression is absolutely the same, perfectly rigid and emotionless, yet still a perfect pose.
I constantly beat myself up over letting myself be sucked in by photographs of a beautiful monster, but it just keeps happening. I should probably just stop looking at his photos, but I have so many in my head already that it probably wouldn’t do any good. Luka had to have known the effect he was going to have on some people, and I hate that I could be fulfilling the desires of a psychopath for fame and fans, playing right into his hand, a willing contender. Yet I continue; I just can’t change the way I feel about Luka Magnotta. I look at him and I want to know more. I want to look deeper into his eyes to see if he really is empty inside. I want to know if there really is an identity in there somewhere that is really truly him. I want to know if that person deep inside of him really is a monster. I really want to know that there’s just a troubled little boy who lost his mind and went crazy, rather than an empty psychopath. These are things we’ll probably never know.
An analysis of Luka’s Plastic Makes Perfect audition tape said these identity issues may stem from borderline personality disorder. Narcissist, body dysmorphic disorder, social anxiety, bipolar, histrionic, megalomaniac, necrophiliac, cannibal, anti-social, psychopath or just plain lunatic? What are you Luka? No wonder you never had a good sense of self! How many things can possible be wrong in one boy’s head?
His writings on the internet are not even his own, mostly being stolen lines from famous people or movies. It’s almost like Luka doesn’t even really exist, nor does Eric Newman, or any other name he’s given himself. Luka is just an image, an illusion, but not an identity.