Only seeing what we want to see in Luka
Luka is larger than life. The image he has cultivated for himself is one of a handsome, carefree, jet-setting model. But we all know this was just an image. In reality he was his biggest fan, or maybe even only fan. Many of his photos were photo-shopped to make him seem like he’d been more places and done better things than he really had. This shows a lot of dishonesty on his part. This is not a good trait! Yet it’s somehow easily overlooked by his supporters, because of the damaged little boy inside. In addition to all the image of beauty of Luka cultivated online, he also spend a lot of time pouring his heart out about all the bad things that have happened in his life from childhood to failed relationships. This is the part that makes him real.
I’ve come to realize that I tend to overlook any unattractive qualities Luka possesses and focus only on the good, or on the person inside who just needs help. I am somehow able to discard thoughts of all the things that don’t fit in with the perfect image of Luka that I have in my head, the fantasy man I obsess over. I haven’t yet figured out why I’m able to do this when there is such a vast amount of information about Luka that ranges from unattractive to downright despicable, but I have created a list of some of the things that I tend to ignore when I think about Luka:
- Alleged criminal behaviour – murder, cannibalism, necrophilia, animal torture
- Sexual deviance – pornographic actor, escort business, stripper
- Dishonesty – pathological lying, fraud and plagiarism
- Narcissist and possible psychopath
- Self-absorbed
- Shallow
- He’s probably gay and not into women at all
- He smokes
I tend not to fit any of the above into the (false) image of Luka I am attracted to. None of the above are good traits! These are not things I desire in people in my life. If only these things were enough to dissuade me from this obsession. But all the negative traits in the world seem to be overshadowed in Luka by the beautiful image of the jet-setting superstar, and the damaged little boy who just needs love and attention. In the fantasy that is Luka, we only see what we want to see.
Further to your honesty, it’s a well-known fact that people believe what they WANT to believe! Despite all the evidence right in front of our eyes.
Yep! It’s just human nature…we’re not machines programmed to follow rules for decision making….we love the subjective!!
Some of those ‘ bad’ traits I’m used to and am unfortunately attracted to. I can relate to this deranged psychopath. I just got lucky that there’s a pretty face in front if it this time ;o)
LRM4L <3
xo
Hi Paeslie,
Unfortunately, I too seem to be attracted to men with many of these traits, but I would not say it’s the traits themselves that I am attracted to, …but I don’t know, maybe subconsciously I am…
That blog post shows you have struck a balance, which is a good sign. I liked this one alot.
Thanks Lisa
So, just curious, do you dislike gay people, or just dislike the fact that he may be gay and therefor not attracted to women?
I love gay people. I have many gay friends, and even a handful of gay family members. It’s the fact that if Luka is gay, what the heck are we straight women doing obsessing over him in the first place?!?!?
So, just curious, do you dislike gay people or just dislike that he may be gay and therefor not attracted to women?
Fantasize all you want to (maybe you didnt do enough of it back in the days), let me tell you an absolute truth which is irrefutable in all counts:
1. He does not know you and in absolute probability he wont be able to. He does not even know you exist. He, who is breathing, seeing and feeling right at this moment when you and I are also doing the same, is completely and utterly oblivious of your presence and shall remain so. You, who has devoted so much time and energy into not only obsessing over him but also researching how to proceed with the next post will never get this time back. This time, which could have been utilized in cultivating your relationships, honing your skills, embracing or learning fine arts or maybe even discovering new places, reading a book, teaching something new to your kids which they would feel passionately for throughout their life, learning to play an instrument, challenging yourself and overcoming any phobias you might have had, sharing precious moments with your husband, or baking a cake for him, watching the sun go down as the shadows grow longer, making up with friends who turned distant, taking up meditation, running along a beach perhaps or sitting by a stream, taking a road trip, riding a bike or learn to ride a bike, take up painting and proudly displaying the paintings in your living room, listening to a beautiful sonata and listening to it again, trying out culinary delights which you havent before, helping out someone without them knowing, taking the subway to nowhere, walking back home from a theater you went to while discussing the movie you saw, watching a classic, learning to fish, redecorating your home, rearranging your garden, consoling a loved one, helping the unfortunate, joining a club, attending a protest, improving your photography skills, taking up salsa lessons with your husband, sleeping in till yor body cant take any more sleep, cleaning the closet, giving private tuition, helping out with elderly at a nursing home, leading a group, learning about nature, watching the time go by, standing on a cliff, taking your time, feeling the breeze, looking on…thinking about nothing.
You traded all this and much more for someone who is not only an antisocial, psychopath murderer and a cannibal but also a depraved low-life who has missed the train to civilization and whose fate has been sealed due to his present and past both. He is not any of the things you say, because these are your musings or you’d like for him to be a certain way to completely your circle of fantasy but its not going to be that way, simply because his value to this world is nothing. He diminished a life because he couldnt create anything. He is no different than thousands of others who commit crimes against humanity and go to jail for life.Maybe you’d like to go over their pictures and decide, which ones make you feel warmer and fuzzier.
Ms.Lexa, I know you feel that after receiving any kind of attention to something that you produced, something that made you feel special, something that people have responded to, something that you have made the nucleus of your life, has to go on and should not be cut short. You are now committed and thoroughly invested, and to turn back now would draw exasperation and soon this flame would sputter and die out. In actuality it will. Its inevitable, no matter how much you try to feed it. In your deepest realm of emotion, a bitter but existent realization resides. And it says, all this is just not worth it.
Thank you for your list of productive uses of my time. Should I decide one day to give up on this blog, I’ll look back at your post for ideas of what to do with myself
For now, I’m enjoying the fantasy and the obsession. It really doesn’t matter that Luka has no clue who I am right now, but maybe someday he will. Either way, I’m enjoying this experience and have met so many great open-minded new people that I would not change this for the world. If you truly believe that Luka is “no different than thousands of others who commit crimes against humanity and go to jail for life” than you have failed to see the Luka that I and many others have seen. A little empathy goes a long way when it comes to trying to understand this man.
You have written a well thought out post to Lexa, however, I truly believe, that this fantasy is borne out of boredom, a lacklustre life. She seems to seek some excitement, and this is her way of gaining it in an often mundane world. And dont take that as an insult Lexa, that just seems to be where these things often come out of. It is also an outlet for her to express herself, whichever it is, it belongs to her, and no one can take that from her. I know nothing of her past, and would love to know, because it would give me more insight into these types of obsession. Good luck, I would love to read more of your posts.
That is so true. I do the same thing and tend to ignore all his bad points and just focus on the good.
As Claudia noted above, we pretty much ALL do it!
You misunderstood my post. Or perhaps you chose to. Either way, it was just a reflection on what you could have done, not what you should do. I wouldn’t want you to give up on this blog or your obsession and start checking off the list of things from my post. Please don’t do any of them, because they obviously are not meant for you. Your allegiance and time has already been pledged to another task. Quoting me to decisively display your commitment to respond toward a chosen and an minute part of my post is not very becoming. I figured you for a reasonable person with a rational mindset. I say that especially because you of all the people should not be waving that empathy flag in front of anyone. Your empathy is misdirected and I dont need to tell you that. If that isnt enough you expect others to fall in line. If it was your husband or your child getting carved up on that video, it would be different wouldn’t it? Next time you’re sitting on that dinner table of yours, look at their faces, think about that.
P.S.Another thing, if you dont have anything to say, dont say it. Saying, “Thank you but I’m alright wallowing in this sewage, why dont you come join me” is not a response. I’d rather you just kept your redundancy down to the minimum because a pattern emerges and its not good.
Another sterling post but a small comment on “In reality he was his biggest fan, or maybe even only fan.” Listen to this interview with Nina Arsenault. She explains that Luka had very real fans when he was a fresh twink when she first met him as “Angel”.
My feeling is that Luka had a hard time dealing with his loss of status just because he’d gotten older and those 60 yr old pedophiles moved on to younger, fresher meat. (I’m sorry but I think a 60 year old going after an 18 year old is theoretically pedophilia.)
Nina states that when Luka said “a lot of people tell me I’m devastatingly good-looking”, he wasn’t lying. She goes on that as 18 year old escort, he was catering to 60 year old men and they told him that all the time. “He would hear that night after night after night… consistently, every day”. The sad thing is that they said that to all the young twinks but Luka took it very seriously without understanding how disposable he was to those guys. Nina and Luka’s affair only lasted 3 weeks because she wanted to be wanted as a woman and not as a transsexual. It’s a little hard to hear the audio. I listened 3 times but was able to make it all out. There are two videos this link, Nina’s in the second one.
///”… he once told her he would do “anything to be famous.”
Nina Arsenault told CityNews in an exclusive interview that she met Magnotta when he was just 18 and working as a stripper at Remington’s on Yonge Street.
“I first met him as Angel, but then he told me his real name is Luka and he also referred to himself as Rocco,” she said.
“He was my very first lover after I started living as a transsexual,” she claimed.
Arsenault called Magnotta “very manipulative” and a “pathological liar.”
She also said he would make disturbing statements when intoxicated — words that are even more chilling in light of allegations that he killed cats and stabbed a man to death in Montreal before dismembering the body and mailing the victim’s body parts.
“He would joke about killing animals. He would joke about killing people, that he wanted to kill his family,” she recalled.
Arsenault also said Magnotta used methamphetamine, was fascinated with James Dean and Madonna, and would punch himself in the head while showering.
“He said, ‘I’m afraid when you look in my eyes…that you’ll see that there’s nothing inside of me.’ ”
“To me he was a f****d up kid.”
http://www.citytv.com/toronto/citynews/news/local/article/208274–exclusive-magnotta-s-ex-lover-says-he-joked-about-killing
You need help. Have u seen the video? Do u have a conscience?
Maybe we should let him out with an icepic & a map to your home? Do you have a webcam?
he could go a step further than last time, & defile you live in real time over the internet!
What do u say?
Poor troll I feel the need to inform you, after this last reply you will suffer from starvation from the attention you crave so badly. Life is tough.
Farewell.
The fact that you havent told your husband that your mentally SICK tells me alot, you KNOW your mind is twisted. you need help and you should see someone about this. You have a child.. what if your chils grows up being the next Magnotta or Bernardo.. Are you going to support it?
YOU and ANYONE who is “obsessed” with Magnotta are disgusting and mentally ill people!
The boy murdered a man, cold blood! VIDEO taped it, POSTED it to the net so he can selfishly be famous! If he wanted to be famous, he could have been like every other start out there and worked his ass off to make it.. he is a fake, phoney psycho path!
My beautiful Luka
I’m so very sorry I caused you so much shame. I never wanted you to feel ashamed of yourself and split in so many ways. All I ask is that you forgive me one day, in this lifetime or the next…You’ve opened my heart to finally feel compassion for all the cruelty I’ve done and I thank you and am eternally grateful for this.
I’m here always
You know me…
If you know him could you shed some light as to who he really is? Nothing personal! As someone who knew him do you believe him to be capable of this sort of thing? I only ask because no one seems to be coming forward in his defense!
You are a sick ass mother fucker. I feel bad for your kids cause you dont deserve to be a mother.
Whatever!! I love him so much. Even if he’s a bad guy or not, I don’t care…he’s my life!!