The moment I knew my obsession was evolving into something deeper (More Luka empathy)
Fascination by the case came first. Infatuation with Luka came next. But it’s so much more than either of those things now. I truly feel for Luka now. I support him and believe in his right to be helped through his issues. I feel such strong empathy for Luka. There’s a moment in particular a few weeks ago when I realized this wasn’t just some “school girl crush”, nor just a passing fascination.
We’ve all seen Luka’s mugshot (above). Some have argued that it’s not the one taken in Berlin, that it’s from Luka’s fraud charges. Some have insisted it most certainly is from his arrest in Berlin. But no one disagrees that it’s not the most flattering shot of Luka, by far it’s not. The moment I realized my obsession had evolved was when I looked at that mugshot and I appreciated it as much as any other photo of Luka, if not more so. It’s all him, and I want to know all of him! The good, the bad, the ugly, the hurt, what makes him tick, who he is inside. I realized how very real this photo is in comparison to most others, the true Luka, and that makes it beautiful and special!
This happened the night Luka returned to Canada. After studying the footage of his disembarkation frame by frame and taking screenshots, I realized this was the first “real” video footage of Luka. No makeup. Not in front of the camera by choice. He didn’t even seem like the same person I’d been studying for weeks. Gone was the love of the camera, gone was the act. Before us was a troubled boy, so helpless, so small and easily man-handled by his keepers. I just couldn’t look away. And then I looked at his mugshot, and realized that this had been a moment of truth for him. You can see it in his eyes. He looks like he’s had some realization that his life has been forever changed. There is always intensity in Luka’s eyes, but in this photo it’s a different kind of intensity.
Mugshot Luka, Mirabel Airport Luka, this is the Luka I would expect to get should I ever have the chance to meet him, and I’m more than OK with that.
This is the Luka I want to reach out to, the one who’s been under that makeup and those wigs this whole time, just hurting… the little boy who was abused by the building supervisor and learned to associate that abuse with love because no one else had time for him and his mother was too young, too self-centered to give him the attention all children need so they won’t develop reactive attachment disorder that can evolve into other mental illnesses.
I don’t know if people ever stop to think of what it must have been like for Luka to hate his prostitution and adult environment so much night after night, in that tiny cheerless studio over a noisy highway, trying to pretend for the public that he was a successful model leading a glamorous life (has anyone ever seen even a single contracted photoshot of Luka?). That’s the Luka in the mugshot, the real one, the one my heart wishes it could hug and console and try to make up for all the love he missed out on as a child.
I can’t wait to see his mother explain how he was thrown out of the family home at 16 because he was bisexual. Children aren’t born bad. Sometimes their genes are a little off, but those genes come from their parents and it’s their parents job to keep loving and guiding a child.
I too “support him and believe in his right to be helped through his issues”. Young people are not throw-away commodities, not even sex-workers as Luka was made to feel.
He wasn’t a “thrown away child” like many kids who run away… he’s a murderer, a killer of both man and animals… what about that don’t you understand?
Hi there. Been reading your blog since the beginning. I myself have been following the case since the video surfaced the web, and have been following the case religiously. I have myself become infatuated, even sleuthing the web for “new” or “unseen” information. It seems that Luka has somehow made me more sympathetic toward him. I even wrote to him on how I feel. Needless to say, I kinda know how you feel. Keep up the blogging.
Who cares about how he looks??? he has no respect for human life. He would kill you, your husband, kids and pets in a heartbeat. He does not care about you, he is unable to care for anyone but himself. I heard you on the radio this morning, you said he was a success. Success at what? not at serious modelling and he seemed to fail as a porn star. He failed as a human being and will die in jail. Waste your time writing him letters and please go to counselling, you really need it. Are you so lonely that you need attention, even negative attention? Please get help immediately and think about your family. How would you feel if he murdered your father and mailed his body parts around Canada. Think of the victims family.
Patronising, patronising, patronising..!
Do you know Magnotta ? Did you both join the same book club, gone with him to some tupperware party or such nonsens that give you the illusion of knowing what happen inside his head ?
And what about you ? I can see you do an excellent job at being the compassionate kind soul toward the victim familly, not that you would waste time commenting or researching Magnotta related blogs.
hope he f*cks your dismembered corpse with a bottle
Had to rack your brain really hard to find that one didn’t you ?
Do YOU know Magnotta? Does he call you at home? Are you close personal friends? How do you know he isn’t making most of this up to get attention? The man was caught while Googling his own name, for crying out loud. He is an egotist, and all you are doing is rewarding him. Wake the f*ck up! You are twisted and need serious help. You know who else was just “misunderstood”? Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold. Charlie Manson. Ted Kaczynski. Get a clue and stop giving this guy what he wants.
I never did pretend to know him. I only wish to understand what made him who he is. La détresse humaine pousse a bien des choses. Comment a-t-il pu en arriver là ? What was the trigger to this madness ? Could all of this have been prevented ?
Go read up on Narcissism and Anti Social Personality Disorder. NO it could not have been prevented, and regardless of him being a ‘little hurting boy’ as you think he is, he was man enough to know that murdering and dismembering someone was wrong. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have attempted flight, or created his own Facebook Pages called ‘Luka Magnotta, Serial Killer’
I don’t think he and I would get along if we were to meet. I might like his character and wish to know more about him. But let’s face it, there is a chance of incompatible personalities more than disappointement in his look or whatever. It’s difficult to say who he really is. In truth we know so little about him. The fact that I have an interest in him wouldn’t avoid a clash if it were to hapen. I think my own bluntness will stand in the way. My honest nature got me called an asshole so many times (I stoped caring/groveling for people approval years ago when I realized it didn’t lead anywhere or make me happy) . The real disappointement would be if he couldn’t handle someone being truthful . I like imagining him tough enough to appreciate honesty. (People who can handle it are so rare)
But I guess the only way to know is to meet the guy, and I live far far away from his tiny cell so not going to happen …
You’re a joke.
I know right ! Isn’t it fun?
I think the people who should be locked up are the people like you who are infatuated with this monster. I think that people like you are beyond help.
Excuse me, but you have NO right to judge these “fans”. These girls have a healthy obsession and just leave them alone if you do not like it. I hardly think these people are dangerous and worthless to society. Unless they feel the compelling urge to hurt somebody, they are not hurting themselves or others. Some of these girls may feel that this obsession is therapy for their minds…hell it may just be a temporary thing. It’s just an outlet for them. Please stop with the hate.
Hmm, don’t know about that. If you open your mouth and say embarrassingly stupid, cringe-inducing things, people have the right to judge you as a moron (since you probably are).
On top of that, unless the definition of the word “healthy” has changed in the past five minutes or so, ain’t no way that these freaks’ obsession is healthy.
Yes because you presenting yourself here as a “Ô so wise and all knowing moral compass” Who’s being told off and yet coming back for more sure show a great intellect.
“Ô so wise ” ?? wtf did you use Ô or ô? is that you svenk styggfitta foreverandever0001? or maybe should I say vai se fuder sua vadia!!!!! your keyboard is crazy you are clearly not even canadian and know nothing about Magnotta
Hahaha, I laughed so hard. Non je ne suis pas canadienne, et toi tu n’es clairement pas francophone ou tu n’étais pas très attentif a l’école. You’re loss not mine. Just made a fool of yourself!
Tu viens de France, d’abord?
I’ve noticed plenty of your posts on here as well, genius – more than I have anyway. I never said I was the smartest person ever. What I’m saying is YOU HAVE NO COMMON SENSE. Magnotta coldly, methodically, and brutally advanced his own shallow, laughably self-obsessed agenda of seeking fame and being notorious, and all you and these other birdbrains can do is whittle on about “his pain.” That makes you a dumbass with no common sense.
Les monstres ne naissent pas par hasard, sans la responsabilité de la société dans laquelle ils évoluent.
Sarah you are making your own judgement, it is not healthy to have an obsession for a phycopath murderer who disects body parts, that is a planned murder. Extremely physcotic.
There are medical doctors, free counselling everywhere, he knew exactly what he was doing he just didn’t give a shit because he is far beyond normal. Lock him up and FORGET about wasting our tax dollars on a trial, the evidence presents itself.
Sarah, nice try. People who have any sort of compassion for a monster like Magnotta or whatever he uses as his name deserve the negative comments. Stop the hate? I don’t hate this obviously deranged woman, I feel sorry for her kids and husband who probably thought that their mother/wife was a fine person, only to find out she should be locked up in a institution before she causes harm to people.
“Oohh brave people, beware the mass murdering supergroupies are coming for you next !”
So spooky ! When do I get to choose the color of my cape ?
Excuse me, but I have every right to judge these “fans.” The internet is public domain sweetheart and if someone wants to put their opinion out there, its free for anyone to judge. Especially when its something as sick as being obsessed with a man who murdered and dismembered another human being and put it on the internet for all to see.
it is super healthy to have wet dreams about a guy who fCks a dismembered corpse with a bottle, uh oh right!!!
We do not condone his actions but rather empathize and want to understand what led to these actions. It is not as simple as him being a monster, there is so much more to this.
No chum, sometimes it is that simple. Mental Illness is not knowing right or wrong, and there are plenty of people like that. Personality Disorders mean knowing right and wrong, and not caring…about ANYONE. To empathize with someTHING that has no ability to empathize back is wasted effort. Watch any frank and direct interview with a psychopath and they will usually very clearly state that they are not human.
Healthy obsession? Contradiction in terms.
Obsession is never healthy.
So you sat around “studying the footage of his disembarkation frame by frame and taking screenshots.” Really.
. . . .
Lady, I hate soundin so damn angry but you should seriously consider getting some kind of life. I know you’re 30 and got kids, you’re probably not all that happy with that 15 pounds you’ve put on in the past five years, but maybe just getting out of the house – jogs, cycling, mini-golf – you might not feel so compelled to obsess over these phantasms crawling out of your computer screen and into your waking life. You have allowed your thoughts to be infected by a murderous parasite bent on using TV and internet mass-media outlets to disperse his disgusting, old-baby face to confused zombie housewives around the globe.
Turn off the computer. Take a break.
I cant tell if you are fucking stupid, beyond unbelievably pathetic or maybe (hopefully) you are just trolling us all (if so, good job).
Stop and think for a second, this man murdered… no, butchered another human being, filmed it, uploaded it to the internet and then proceeded to mail body parts to fucking schools… and you are obsessing over him? Are you fucking serious? You need serious psychological help.
Think if this was your family member (your child) or another person who was close to you who had been brutally murdered this way, the murderer uploaded it to the internet for people to revel in the death of a person you loved. How the fuck would you feel seeing a site like this? Girls talking about how they feel sorry for and are in love with a man who took the life from your family. You should be disgusted with yourself, you are a terrible human being.
Please, all you who support Eric Newman, go to the washroom, run a nice warm, bath sit down in it, plug your radio in and then drop it in the tub. Im horrified to see your children in about 15 or 20 years.
Sickening. You should be so ashamed of yourself and you need to seek psychological help. (unless your trolling, then disregard what I said and pat yourself on the back).
Get help. Quickly. For the sake of your children.
Wow, you’re a loser with no life. I feel sorry for you as there is obviously something lacking in your life that you have to compensate by obsessing over someone like this. I bet your kids are going to turn out as messed up as you are.
All you crazy bitches should be locked up with him
we would looove to be locked up with beautiful luka…….. lovely soul<3
I’m okay I think all through up! I couldn’t read anymore. Maggot’s got some bitches wanting a relationship, okay the only problem is bambi’s, He’s gay! You bunch of weird people!!!
Quote from our dedicated foolower “I wonder what he tastes like,” she writes. “I imagine touching his lips.”. I got a good one, how about you have a one nighter with a 220 volt outlet! french kiss it all you want!!
You people are fucking sick.
Vulgarity just shows a lack of imagination. Name calling the same. Go Back to school, please.
Lame, did your grandma tell you that vulgarity showed a lack of intelligence or imagination? Vulgarity can convey they depth of a feeling in ways no other words can.
You should look a little further than the tip of your nose. And think a little more, in your opinion how a human being comes to that? It is this question that we his “fans” we ask.
We do not like it for the crime committed but for what it is he and why.
Sure, we will be denigrated his advanced things. Congratulations!
This man needed help before his crime, but nobody was there for him, then we have the right as a person to want to help malgrès what he did.
We are not monsters, but simply human beings. And human beings with feelings and compassion!!
It has perhaps not committed his crime just for fun, it may be to open our eyes to the world and what it really is. If a man, a priori “ordinary” can do something like this because of his past and his experience, there must be many other. So if we can figure out why that may be in the future we will be able to help other people before they do things like his.
But we stop criticizing her is useless, you do not advance we made in our lives and your insults do not make progress in your either.
————————————————————————-
Vous devriez regarder un peu plus loin que le bout de votre nez. Et réflechir un peu plus, à votre avis comment un être humain en arrive là? C’est cette question que nous ses “fans” nous nous posons.
Nous ne l’apprecions pas pour le crime qui a commis mais pour ce qu’il est lui et pour comprendre pourquoi.
C’est sur quand vous ecoutant nous dénigré vous faite avancé les choses.
Cette homme avait besoin d’aide avant son crime mais personne n’a été présent pour lui, alors on a le droit en tant que personne de vouloir l’aidé malgrès ce qu’il a fait.
Nous ne sommes pas des monstres mais simplement des êtres humains. Et des etres humains avec des sentiments et de la compassion !!!!
Il n’a peut etre pas commis son crime juste par plaisir, c’est peut etre pour nous ouvrir les yeux sur le monde et ce qu’il est réellement. Si un homme, a priori ordinaire peut faire une chose comme cela à cause de son passé et de ce qu’il a vécu, il doit y en avoir beaucoup d’autre. Alors si on arrive a comprendre pourquoi peut etre que dans l’avenir on sera capable d’aidé ses personnes avant des choses comme sa.
Mais arretez de nous critiquer, sa ne sert a rien, vous ne nous faite pas avancé dans notre vie et vos insulte ne vous font pas avancé dans la votre non plus.
Tif your english sucks. I bet you would stop feeling any compassion the moment Luka drugged you and killed you. You wrote this lame essay because you never had to deal with his antics. Not even his family supports him, why are you so empathetic? feeling horny about that monster too?
Yes I know my English sucks, so what? I do not speak of his crime I speak of him. And it just might be a little more was loved by his family will not ever happened can be. People do not become mad for no reason!
Ton anglais est mauvais mais compréhensible. Ne te justifie pas, avec ces gens-là ça ne mène nulle part et ne sert à rien !
Et s’il est si mauvais que ça c’est de la faute à Google :p
Exactement, je l’avais deviné et je ne t’en tiens pas rigueur.
J’imagine que pour toi aussi la traductions de l’anglais vers le français est incohérente, voir même incompréhensible. Tu as vraiment du courage. Haha.
Oui voilà exactement j’essai de comprendre le gros de la phrase mais des fois je ne comprend pas tout… Tu es française ou tu parle juste très bien français?
Je suis française.
trgirl, you need help, if you have kids, god help them NOW!!!!!
Fine cool tell you what – you go ahead and spend lots of your own time wondering about the reasons why Luka did what he did. The rest of us are busy strapping him into an electric chair.
Tell us what you come up with – I’d love to hear it.
you are deff not normal, I feel sorry for your husband (hey Lexa or should I call you Ana? hope he finds out about you! the nice christian, wife with a child! need to discover your real name so I can make a smear campain and ruin your life) you remind me of this:
‘Serial killers always attract a coterie of women who find their hideous exploits arousing and who send flowers and write or visit them in prison. There’s even a name for their bizarre obsession: hybristophilia.
But the syndrome isn’t restricted to women. Some men are equally drawn to twisted minds and the heinous crimes they produce. The infamous Karla Homolka had her admirers. One married her. Truman Capote, author of In Cold Blood, the documentary novel of a cold-blooded Nebraska family killing, was erotically attracted to one of the killers he wrote about. Ian Barnard, who teaches Queer Studies at California State University (Northridge), confessed in an essay on cannibal-killer Jeffrey Dahmer: “I feel sorry for him. He played the clarinet. So do I. I am attracted to him, his voice, his glasses at his sentencing.”
Psychopathic killers are incarcerated, studied and treated. But what are we to make of these otherwise harmless, but creepy, fellow travelers who vaunt their attraction to psychopathic violence, who are titillated by their superficial likeness to perpetrators of stomach-turning violence and defilement? Are they too “disordered”?’
Wiki is your friend from the look of it. I am myself fond of useless and unreliable knowledge ! Make you feel big doesn’t it ?
you’re oblivious to the obvious and you only come out sounding like ignorant fool. i hope this blog stays around so it can remind you of that time in your life you got played by the media and eric into loving him.
Love, Love LOVE this entry.
All of you pathetic Magnotta lovers are more than likely all very ugly woman anyway & have no life besides in front of your keyboard. Just end it all so you all can stop feeling pain. You can all jump into a large plastic bag & let someone suck out all the air from it with a vacuum cleaner.
Everybody please you need to understand that this blog is only a personal opinion about an interest. Though some things you may not agree with, there is absolutely no reason why you should provide any insult to Lexa. There are much worst blogs out in the internet that contain much more sickening interests than this one.
Targetting her family especially should in no way be any of your business. That is just as worst as you believe her blog is. People express what they believe in or feel about and despite that it seems highly immoral, again it is only an expression of mind.
Please stop insulting her.
Wrong. Society is normative. We have standards of normal behavior. One way we keep that is by showing DISGUST and OUTRAGE and CONTEMPT at behavior that threatens the fabricate of society. If you’re going to publish opinions and thoughts that are considered extraordinarily vile by most people then YOU WILL BE JUDGED and this IS APPROPRIATE. Full Stop.
People are trying to get across the vital DIFFERENCE between pathetic immature sympathy (probably rooted in several psychological disorders) and true empathy. They are bringing up her family and the victim’s family in a (obviously lost cause) attempt to get her and others to FEEL EMPATHY. That’s why it comes up.
Wow.
After reading a number of your writings, I must say that your husband would be a very wise man to pack up and move on. What I read is a woman who is walking a very thin line between being unfaithful or not (and would be if could). Being mentally unfaithful is just as bad as actually falling into bed but with someone like Luka, it’s just sick.
All I can say is that Magnotta is a sick individual, and your obsession with him is, in so many ways, extremely unhealthy and disturbing.
Idolizing someone like him not only makes others question YOUR mental stability, but ads fuel to the burning embers in the minds of others who are teetering on the edge between sane or irrational behaviour. It validates and inspires the continuation of the dimented thoughts and feelings they are entertaining and THAT is dangerous.
Right now I bet someone is reading your posts thinking “I want to be worshiped and admired too”….WILL THE NEXT SICK MINDED SERIAL KILLER PLEASE STAND UP!!!!!
Do yourself and society a service lady, give up the hero worship of human garbage before it costs you or some other innocent soul, everything and more.
Clearly you have a problem and maybe should get help. How anyone can be a fan of suck a sick individual is disgusting. Maybe you should think about if he did to one of your children what he did to Jun Lin. What if he stabbed your child to death with an ice pick? Then ate him and dismembered him and then showed absolutely no empathy for his actions. The fact that you basically worship someone like this makes you seriously derranged!
What is it with you people wanting children suffering. You all keep repeating the same horrors again and again as if you wished it would suddenly happen. And you call us mad ?
No, they are asking you to put your shallow emotions aside and actually consider if he had done this to YOUR child, how would you feel ? The victim was someone’s son. If you don’t care, it shows the clear lack of empathy you propose to have.
Seras, they have a point. The victim was someone’s child. We should only care about the victim and his family. Luka made decisions in his life as an adult that lead him to do what he did, and there is nothing you or I could have done to change that. Lex, the fact that you are a mother, you should be ashamed of yourself for even idolizing a murderer like this. I agree, you need to seek help immediately. And yes, I am a mother too. I would never think of idolizing this piece of trash. Vous êtes sincèrement malade dans la tête, j’en reviens pas.
I think you need to see a Psychiatrist! Seriously, you’re a mother of two children and you think this monster is “misunderstood”!!! Not only is this person Psychotic, but he is also an attention seeker. He is no different than Jeffery Dahmer, who by the way started by killing animals and then escalated to humans. The one difference between the two is that Dahmer wasn’t stupid like this piece of trash. He was psychotic but hid his evil deeds. Magnotta is a sick animal, a gay porn actor and a monster. What you see in him that is “good” is not normal. I hope that the police are able to track you down by your blog website and take your kids away from you and force you to seek medical help, because you are sick indeed!!!
There is nothing illegal here, nothing that could justify the police to investigate or take action.
wow this makes me ashamed to be a woman. you all fall for his looks and not actions..typical.
i think…it should not matter if these girls like luka magnotta its their choice!…so what he has fans! why come on here and just bash what the owner of this page is posting it is rightfully HERS…also look at all the other more deranged killers who actually have bigger followings and those people who see it as a religion WOW this girl just posted her thoughts and feelings doesnt seem like she see’s Luka as a god! so why come on here and bash her?? or these posts she so rightfully chooses to give out?? its called a freedom of speech for a reason…so what let her post what she wants!! she says she’s basically infatuated…not like shes saying “I WORSHIP THE VERY GROUND HE WALKS ON I LOOK UP TO HIM AND THE HORRIFIC ACTIONS” no thats not what she’s saying! so if you dont like what shes posting GTFO!. hope you have a wondeful day being a serious internet TROLL.
This Berlin mug shot is fucking intoxicating. I have to utterly disagree with you on this part, that it’s not his best photo – this is the one that drives me wild!
His gaze is so intense and cold, I really wish he could bang me.
But I think I am projecting when I get turned on by his evil gaze, because in reality, Eric Newman is passionless and emotionally dead like the psychopath he is. I’m not saying this in a judgemental way, I am just stating the facts.
We may be self-aware “Lexa,” but some parts of us are definitely numb, otherwise we wouldn’t be infatuated with Eric Newman in this pathetic, sad fantasy of ours.
I watched the video of Eric returning and landing in Canada over and over too. I can’t believe I actually like the raw Eric mug shot and video footage of him more than his posed shots where he looks too metrosexual/homosexual (for my personal taste).
I really like watching the footage of him where he steps off the last stair of that plane staircase, and he appears cool, calm, and collect, walking in those sexy handcuffs, the extreme Bad Boy archetype fucking turning me on. Not to mention he even has a couple of other handsome men surrounding him – they can all handcuff me anytime.
I think it’s the extreme Bad Boy that is so intoxicating for me. It’s as if I need to over-compensate for something by investing in the most bad, dangerous, evil men.
wow let her post all she desires…we cannot control what others do again rightfully its her page so again WHY ARE YOU HERE IF YOU DO NOT LIKE THE TOPIC/SUBJECT?! sheesh! not like its ACTUALLY harming anyone…shes just expressing herself …maybe in a way YOU don’t like but who the fxck are you to judge her last time I checked theres such thing as FREEDOM OF SPEECH.
Freedom of speech doesn’t render you immune from the repercussions of that speech. Can you grasp that simple concept?? How so many people fail to see that baffles me. STFU with that “freedom of speech” whiny b.s. It’s nonsensical. If someone publishes opinions and thoughts that the vast majority of other people find outrageous and contemptable they WILL respond. Silence is complicity otherwise. If no one excoriated all you people with obvious mental disorders how would you know that were actually sick in the head? Being surrounded only by people who support your delusions normalizes something that is actually very deviant.
But hey,logic, reasoning, and real empathy are not the strong suits of vocal Magnotta supporters. That much is very clear.
omg! luka would have sooooo much fun reading all this lololololol!!!! I think thats the best thing that could ever happen for him…. to bad he cant read it at this moment! Keep it up! im having a blast myself!
omg u guys r soooo good at french…