Crying for Luka
This is something I’ve been doing more and more of as the weeks go on. The first time I cried for Luka, it took me somewhat by surprise. It was after viewing the video of his disembarkation from the plane that brought him back from Germany. Suddenly it hit me how very sad this is for him; the tears started rolling down my face and I started sobbing heavily. How awful it must feel to be 29 years old and know that you will likely be locked away for the rest of your life, to be lead shackled and handcuffed, to no longer have any control over your own life. What makes it even more sad is that it almost seems like this is what he wanted. Between promoting the 1 Lunatic 1 Ice Pick video, sending body parts through the mail and simply saying “OK you got me” when found, it’s like this was all a part of his plan. But why??? I’m torn with the why. It’s impossible to understand why someone would sabotage their life this way. Does he hate himself that much? It all just makes me so sad.
I think about him being locked away in a tiny cell like Bernardo for 23 hours a day, day after day, year after year, endlessly. It’s such a depressing thought. I think about all the happy people in the world free to enjoy the beauty of the outdoors, and the contrast to Luka sitting all alone in a tiny cell. I cry some more.
I think about Luka’s life. Right from the beginning he was doomed. His mother was so ashamed of his existence in her teenage life that she apparently didn’t tell her family about him until he was 5 years old! Talk about rejection! Imagine how it would feel to know that your own mother was ashamed of you as a small child. Then being bounced back and forth between parents and grandparents, never belonging anywhere. Eventually being kicked out at 16 over his sexuality. I cry over so many aspects of Luka’s upbringing.
Last night something really hit me hard. I was discussing Luka’s possible child with someone. It really does seem like it’s possible that he had a child at some point. There are so many photos of him with a baby, and his sister (and the rest of his family) is said to have disowned him years ago. It’s possible that the blond girl in photos that people assume to be his sister is in fact the mother of his child. The child may have died (as Luka indicated in some posts and YouTube video) or maybe the mother kept the child away from him. In either case, this would be a significant loss for Luka, who has only ever wanted love. He looks so caring in all the photos of him with the baby.
This video is what really made me cry. I’m just so sad, devastated really, for the life that Luka could have had, a normal life with a loving family and a child, and the contrast to the life of lonliness he ended up with, and now the ultimate lonliness of being locked away in a tiny cell. 
Why did he do this? Because he is a psychopath and we could never comprehend why. In some of the pictures in which he’s holding a toddler or baby, he doesn’t come across as warm or fatherly, he seems to be into himself, narcissistic for the camera shot.
Yes, by the looks of it Eric Newman was a child who grew up with a sad upbringing apparently. He is also a psychopath. He’s both.
I can’t imagine what his family is going through with all of the negative media attention. I feel sorry mostly for his sister Melissa Newman. Eric seemed to hate her the least, and sometimes may even have liked her. Too bad for us that they are keeping privately to themselves.
Lexa, I can somewhat understand your sympathies toward Luka, but understand that the psychopathic/narcissistic brain works different than the rest of us. I myself feel sorry for Luka, saying to myself, “why does such a beautiful person turn into a psychopath. His family history, as tragic as it sounds may have contributed a little bit on his future behaviors, but somewhat I believe he was born this way.
Also, I don’t believe that child is his. It may be a relative of his (not necessarily from his sister, but maybe). As with some of his photos and the claim that he fathered Karla Homolka’s child make me believe he probably wanted people to THINK this child was his. IDK, but I really believe this to be true, even after all the research I have done.
Lexa, please I do hope that thinking about Luka does not ruin any of your real life relationships and please take care of yourself.
Cheers
Well, I think its not uncommon that on a verge of despair one would consider a jail cell not to be such a bad place to spend time at. Some of us dont have enough courage to take our own lives, so we choose other options. Of course its sad, but its of temporary nature. We are not here to stay forever, and it ends quicker than we imagine. Its all quite meaningless and complicated, Lexa. We live in a weird place and we all are quite primitive animals, but some of us think that we are so civilized, sophisticated and know it all. those ones of us find time to tell you how crazy you are, how this and that you are…apparently they know it all..its like a monkey looking in the mirror in denial thinking its someone else it is looking at and proceeding w the utmost criticism but w not enough brains to figure out it is glancing at its own reflection.
I think figuring out why will be impossible. I cant even figure out my own whys. the answer comes up as simple and stupid as “because”. And it ends there. its complex, yet primitive. I m sure he is content, it doesnt matter to him anymore. it wouldnt to me either. He might be sad but content. It all ends at the end.
I admire your courage to swim against the flow in a sea of monsters. love what you love, you dont owe an explanation to anyone.
Hey Lexa,
I thought that child was his nephew? Doesn’t his sister have children? Sometimes it is so hard to know what is true and what isn’t lol
There are no simple answers to your questions. I sincerely hope that you are not trying to be God for Eric Newman. It is up to God to forgive him, and it is up to Eric to ask for this. It is not up to you. All the best.
Lexa, I understand that obsessions are irrational, but I am honestly trying to understand your point of view. Do you cry for Jun Lin as well, and the fact that he was a young man beloved by family and friends with all of life still before him before it was tragically cut short? Do you cry for the life he could have had as well?
hey lexa:
it is indeed a very sad video, and the pictures with him and the child are really amazing, i dont know if he really has a child or if he wanted it so bad that he started saying he has a child, but i definitively see that when he is holding that child he is very content and full of kindness and love .there is a lot of people that Luka talked to saying that he has a child. The landlord on the building here in Montreal also say that Luka came here to Montreal because of his son.
lexa sent you an email, waiting for your respond
“I think about all the happy people in the world free to enjoy the beauty of the outdoors, and the contrast to Luka sitting all alone in a tiny cell. I cry some more.”
Well, Patrick Jun Lin is not a happy person in the world, free to enjoy the beauty of the outdoors, I cry some more.
Hiya Lexa,
RIP Patrick Jun Lin, He had a beatiful smile, makes me sad to see his bright eyes,
I think all of our sympathy should be directed towards his parents.
All of my heart goesout to the victim, he seemed like a really nice gentle guy.
RIP little cats, I shed some more tears for those kittens.
Animal cruelty makes me sick, its so sad
I cant help but wonder what happened to the snake and the little puppy from his killvid?
Law Enforcement is really scarce with the info, maybe there are accomplices?
Justice will eventually be served.
In this case, there are no winners only losers.
Did he really impregnate his sister? :O
Havent heard that rumor before, the plot thickens.
I wouldnt be surprised at all, his family apparently has a lot of
skelethons hanging in their closet.(no pun intended)
We can only guess what led Luka to do this horrific crime,
My guess is that he was born with a mental disorder,
that somewhere along the way of his childhood got sparked.
It is impossible for normal people like us to relate to that.
If he is really a good person, he doesnt have to worry
Eventually we all get what we deserve, maybe not this life, then most certainly the next.
Im not religious btw, but here just has to be some kind of justice in the afterlife
In this lifetime Luka will problably die in solitary at the end.
Lisa M
I think you should see someone. I know what it is to be really empathic (cuz i am myself) but what you have is not healty empathy. If you have so much empathy you should find another cause to help like little kids are animals abuse (theres so many kids getting bitten every day). This guy suffered a lot in his life espacially when he was a kid. But you have to think that a lot of human(maybe one on 5) on this earth had life hard like that(and maybe worst!) but didnt turn necessary like that! I think society made Luka a sociopath. He became cold with time and maybe had the hereditary of being one too but i really think he is. Ive been a lot of time of reading Magnottas blog and I painted myself a picture.
On some forum he was completly spreading his life out (imaginary life) when nobody asking him any questions or even answering him. Most of the stuff was sexual details about his fake life sometimes really hard to ear. In this forum he was saying to people he was from San Francisco and he was a transsexual looking for some real menly men that cant f*** him real hard in the ass….
I also think Luka is suffering of an Antisocial Personality Disorder or Narcissic, because he had a lot of depts in the city of Toronto and banks, had a job as escort and porno witch is not , it would explain the kill of several kittens too because it wouldnt feel bad about it (not having empathy, witch caracterising the NPD) and revealed to the journal The Sun that … and on top of that, some people that knew him said he was always trying to manipulate people for his personal interest, wanted to be popular, notorious and was ready to even kill someone for it(he was saying that as a joke…)
I think behind this coldness Luka was desperatly looking for some attention to remplace the love he never had. This and a mix of drugs end him up killing the kittens and then finally Jun Lin.
I know this might shock you and you might deny it right away, saying that Im a hater of even deleate my comment. But really you should ask yourself now why do you have so much empathy (i would say more obsession then empathy)? Because the guy is cute? Like think about it… theres so much more victims to protect in this world, why would you give him the attention that he wanted(…part of the sociopath and NPD, wanted attention even for immoral things)? Cry for him, having a blog about him just because youre empathic? I think you should focus more on your life and your kids…..
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychopathy
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antisocial_personality_disorder
Read more about it and try to get out of this circle youre getting in… Could be dangerous for you…
Sincerely,
AC