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This is my story of my Luka obsession.

I’m a female from Canada, the same age as Luka. On the outside I’m very much your average girl, but on the inside I’m far from average…

I’ve become obsessed with Luka Magnotta! It started out innocently enough as a fascination with the outrageous news reports, but it’s evolved into something different altogether. I became so overwhelmed with my Luka obsession that I started writing about and to him to try and understand what underlies my thoughts and feelings. In contrast to the thousands of Luka haters, I’ve noticed there are a few other people commenting online that also seem to have a Luka obsession, so I’ve decided to start this blog and share my thoughts and writings. The first few posts will be material I have already written over the past few days. I know this is not a normal obsession and some might view it as sick and demented, but please no negative comments. Thanks!

~Lexa

P.S. Please note that while I have been obsessive over people in the past (IRL or celebrities), this is my first obsession with someone like Luka.

42 Comments
  1. Marie permalink

    You’re obsess only because he’s a good looking guy, if he had been fat & ugly you’ll don’t care about him. I’m tired of seeing groupies of Luka, you are soo ridiculous ! Just because he’s handsome you’re a fan, don’t you really think that is stupid ? JUST THINK…

    • I agree with you Marie, I really do. But I just can’t seem to help it…maybe it’s my mind’s way of coping with the inexplicable dichotomy of Beauty and the Beast….the extreme beauty of the person vs the extreme ugliness of the alleged crime. I don’t know. All I do know is that I feel powerless to control these thoughts, and there is an amazing physical warm sensation when I think of him, something akin to love, which I know is also ridiculous to say because I’ve never met him. In any case the logical side of my mind is screaming at me to stop obsessing over Luka, but it just feels so good and harmless really. The dichotomy in my own mind is actually causing me extreme anxiety.

      • lisa kendall permalink

        no one can control their thoughts dear girl, its the acts that follow that you must control.

      • bates permalink

        that called hybristophilia. you need medical help.

        http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hybristophilia

    • lisa kendall permalink

      I agree, this is where the narcissism fits in, he isn’t interested in women, he’s a queer, the only woman he dated was a transexual. I think that perhaps something in your past, some form of abuse, perhaps remembered, perhaps hidden in the depths of your mind, ptsd is one of the causes of ocd, obsessive disorders. It would be a lie to say to you im not interested in this case, i am, luka magnotta on facebook, is a group, but a discussion group. magnotta himself was rejected by his mother at a young age, which that in itself is probably a cause of him turning out this way, but have you viewed him dry humping a dead headless corpse, degrading the man he had been dating. the worst part is he wont tell these people where the remains are, so they can give their boy a full funeral. that’s cruel in itself. im glad you opened up about your feelings, if you wish to discuss this further in pm, message me, and we’ll chat. daweeka1@gmail.com. Lisa is my name, it sounds like you have somethings you need to talk about, i wont judge you, as i said, i have some empathy for this man, however, im not a fan, imagine if all the “fans” turned into victims? But you should talk some more dear girl. A fellow canadian girl.

  2. Care to join us on the radio to talk about this for a few minutes today? (Fri Jun 22)

    • I emailed you Scott.

    • lisa kendall permalink

      whats the station, ill be listening….

      • Lisa, I appreciate your comments. I will reply to each of them and/or email you when I get a chance. Scott Simpson wrote a blog article about the interview I had with him on Friday, and it includes a recording. It can be found here: http://www.bigasssuperstar.com/2012/06/obsessed-with-canadian-psycho-magnotta.html

        I also wrote a follow-up post because I didn’t feel that I answered all of Scott’s questions sufficiently: http://lukamagnottaobsession.wordpress.com/2012/06/22/questions-asked-on-a-radio-interview/

        I will be speaking with Thomas Gerbet of CBC Radio in Montreal around 5:15pm today…if I don’t chicken out, that is…it’s nerve-wracking!

        • lisa kendall permalink

          aww, you can do it, it’s just like a phone call tha’s all,lol….

  3. Caroline permalink

    Ce site est trés bien fait et surtout trés bien interprété avec une trés bonne traduction.
    J’habite la France et “malheureusement” aux yeux de certains j’apparaît également aussi pyschopathe que Luka Magnotta ; parce ce que je suis tombée, troublée par ce physique, son passé, ses envies, ses photos, ses textes….. sa revanche contre la vie. Pour moi aucun doute de sa culpabilité ; malgré que je ne veux pas y croire, il a franchi un cap que seulement certains peuvent faire et pour le faire il ne faut plus être sur terre – donc peut-on lui en vouloir vraiment ?
    Il n’a pas réussi à trouver l’amour, le bonheur, LE VRAI. et pour preuve, il le chercher sur Internet par le biais de multiples réseaux sociaux.
    oui j’aime ce garçon jsuqu’au jour ou ? une faille, une réalité trop forte vienne semer le trouble dans ma tête. Il m’est pas un seul jour sans rechercher toutes actualités récentes le concernant. Je possède même les originaux des 3 dernières vidéos postées avant son arrestation et qui sont bien gardées…
    mon rêve, plus qu’un voyage au soleil ; allez lui rendre visite ou même pouvoir assister à son audience en Mars 2013 !! UN RÊVE.
    caroline (43 ans)

    • Thank you for the compliment about my site. I’m glad it translates well. I agree that Luka failed to find love and happiness in life, and that makes me very sad for him. I’m not sure I’ll ever be convinced of his guilt, or even whether that truly matters to me. For more videos of Luka check my videos page. I love watching them, and hearing his voice and seeing his mannerisms! I too dream about going to his trial and it’s not nearly as far for me to travel as it is for you, so maybe, just maybe. :)

      • Jordis permalink

        I feel you are a good person and your strength is admirable! I only wish Luka could have found this kind of support before he was pushed over the edge! Thank you for your thoughts and never let the haters stop you from sharing! This blog has warmed me!

      • It is incredibly narcissistic of you to not care if eh is guilty. Would you care if someone murdered your child?

  4. lisa kendall permalink

    http://www.examiner.com/article/longer-1-lunatic-1-ice-pick-video-version-surfaces-where-is-this-one?CID=obinsite

  5. anonym permalink
  6. gros bon sens permalink

    Ce n’est pas du tout rassurant de voir des gens vouer un culte à ce psychopate. Quelle société dysfonctionnelle! Dire que la fondatrice de ce site est une mère de famille.. mon dieu..

  7. Julin permalink

    Hey pathetic girl , if the family would see this blog what do you think would be the feeling? Dont you think about the family sometime? Did you see the video of Magnotta when he kill the guy? I dont think so your probably ignorant , or just retard it would be great if you killyourself ! We dont need people like your just like cancer i’m sure of 1 things you dont have alot of friends and your not beautiful … ugly? ya i think your ugly too. PLZ KILLYOURSELF :D

    • Yeah, I’m gonna kill myself just because you think I’m pathetic. Oh no, Julin thinks I’m ugly, how can I go on living?? ;) Everyone has the right to talk about whatever side of the story they so desire; you can take your vitriole elsewhere.

      • bates permalink

        People who are fans of killers like Luka, Paul Bernardo, Manson, Ted Bundy and other individuals of the like are sick in the head. There is nothing praise worthy about them. They deserve to be killed and that’s it. I agree with Julin, you should kill yourself or ask someone to kill you before it is too late and you go killing people. I don’t want even think about what you do when you are not writing your blog, you probably kills and torture animals like your idol, don’t you? One thing is to be obsessed and try to understand Luka’s mind but it is something completely different the way you describe how you feel about this murderer, you say you are a fan, you have empathy to the victim and you support Luka because he is ‘devastatingly good looking’. You get turned on about his voice and sexually aroused about his mannerisms and feel like you are in love, like a teenager, infatuated with his beauty. Get a grip! You are pathethic, the matter isn’t about the right of talking about whatever or whoever you want, your blog is disrespectful, seriously you could talk a lot about Luka without worshipping him like you do. Maybe this is why people are being rude to you, what did you expect? if you had a neutral approach, things would be different, but you can’t say you are a fan of a sicko who eat feces kills cats and humans and now you expect praise and respect from readers. You’ll get what you deserve. And you deserve all the suffering Jun Lin went through, all the bad feelings his family are dealing on daily basis, you deserve the worst in the world, just by being Luka Magnotta fan.

  8. I have to agree that there’s something very magnetic and out-of-this-world thing… the kind of thing that you see in perfect serial killers. Makes it easy to get preys… I understand fascination, has weird as they are… but obsession, I am not so sure.
    This being said, I see some comments here that shouldn’t be. No need to be this mean. Who are we to judge? Some of you guys might be sexual deviants liking your partner to put on diapers and a pacifier to be able to come, for what I know.
    This planet will be destructed by this kind of simple hate. Try to understand instead of talking shit about someone like this girl. Some people just need that.

    • The world needs more people like you, Raven. I just wish more people could be open-minded. There would be so much less hate in the world!

      • Your comment is so ironic. Your love for him does not bring about anything good. It only promotes psychopathology, selfishness, narcissism. Stop! Have empathy for the victims family. Step outside of your selfishness for one second to see who is in need of kindness and love. It is the murdered victims family not the murderer!

    • Ike Hempstead permalink

      So you don’t see something wrong with people being empathetic/obsessed/etc… with someone who kills/eats/dismembers another human being? You and your sick friends call it being open minded, where as the majority of people in this world would beg to differ.

      I would love to hear what you thought of other misguided looney tunes like Jeffrey Dahlmer, Clifford Ollsen, Osama Bin Laden…..

      • Bare with me. I totally disagree with what he did. I never said that I agreed.
        I only, maybe, see more widely than some. He shall pay for what he did. Obsession with this man, for what I see, aint related to the act… still, it can make it even more fascinating for some people.
        And sorry to deceive you. I am not one of them. But I am one of those who will NEVER judge but try to understand.
        I am also one of those that think that if you don’t have anything constructive to say, you might want to praise silence…..

  9. bates permalink

    Split from your partner, get a shrink appointmet because frankly I think you might suffer from hybristophilia or better yet you are probably just demented. I know, why you are doing this, you are worshipping this lunatic just because he is safe behind bars and can’t hurt you right? You represent everything that is wrong with this society and people like you should be removed from the gene pool for good. Hope you meet someone like Luka on the way home or when you have a kinky night of bondage! Actually in a perfect world I wish Luka killed you instead of Jun Lin and those poor cats. You add no good to this society. The world would certainly be a much better place without you. I won’t tell you to go eat sh1t and die because you are such a piece of garbage that you might even enjoy it and ask for more.

  10. Ike Hempstead permalink

    I read your story in the Sun and I just had to comment. I’ve read about sick people like you but this is the first time I have ever posted something. I can’t believe that a woman, married with kids has fantasies about a lunatic, patehtic and may I say a sorry excuse for a human being, like Magnotta or whatever name he uses. People like you are a danger to society and explains why things in our worl have deteriorated like they have. Instead of feeling for the family that this monster has destroyed for his own personal satisfaction and sick need for attention, you feel obsessed and fascinated by this evil, evil piece of garbage. Your kids must be very proud of you!

  11. MadJack permalink

    Well said Ike.

  12. YouareCrazy permalink

    You need help. Please get some before it’s too late.

  13. For all intensive purposes, I do think it is socially accepted to be “fascinated” with these kind of cases. I would have a hard time classifying your intrigue of Luka as obsessive but it definitely is fandom. The mystery and unfortunate lifestyle he led even intrigues me. Personally I sit on the fence and am having a hard time leaning either way. It’s unfortunate that we live in a society where today “innocent until proven guilty” no longer exists. I mean it’s extremely difficult given the nature of the “alleged” crime, but people are too quick to jump to conclusions. I’ve seen the video, and do agree with you Lexa that there was no conclusive evidence that it was Magnotta as the individuals face was never shown. The crime is gruesome and I’m not disputing that, but as a student studying Media, I just think people need not believe everything they see on TV or read in the papers. The courts will decide.

    To conclude, the comments you’ve been receiving on here aren’t warranted and aren’t classy. If anything, those who think you should “kill yourself” or “go die” because of your fascination have more of a Magnotta mentality than you seem to.

    • Henrik permalink

      I think you should kill yourself too, how do you expect anyone to be classy to a piece of garbage like Lexa, Ana? you are as lame as her

      • Alright. Excuse me while I go cry over your thoughts of me.

  14. paul permalink

    it’s one thing to become fascinated with the darker side/s of humanity. It is quite another to profess the obsession you have with an obviously deranged, psychopathic personality as Magnota. I don\’t know you. I can not form an opinion of you on a personal level. However, I can say that I find it disturbing – your obsession with this man.

    Have you ever heard the term hybristophilia? It describes people who are (usually, but not always) sexually attracted to people who commit terrible crimes such as murder. This may be something you might want to look into. It\’s just a thought – not a judgment of you.

    Ignore comments (from some people above) that are hateful in nature. Beware your obsession/s that they do not consume you body and soul.

  15. Henrik permalink

    you are deff not normal, I feel sorry for your husband (hey Lexa or should I call you Ana? hope he finds out about you! the nice christian, wife with a child! need to discover your real name so I can make a smear campain and ruin your life) you remind me of this:
    ‘Serial killers always attract a coterie of women who find their hideous exploits arousing and who send flowers and write or visit them in prison. There’s even a name for their bizarre obsession: hybristophilia.

    But the syndrome isn’t restricted to women. Some men are equally drawn to twisted minds and the heinous crimes they produce. The infamous Karla Homolka had her admirers. One married her. Truman Capote, author of In Cold Blood, the documentary novel of a cold-blooded Nebraska family killing, was erotically attracted to one of the killers he wrote about. Ian Barnard, who teaches Queer Studies at California State University (Northridge), confessed in an essay on cannibal-killer Jeffrey Dahmer: “I feel sorry for him. He played the clarinet. So do I. I am attracted to him, his voice, his glasses at his sentencing.”

    Psychopathic killers are incarcerated, studied and treated. But what are we to make of these otherwise harmless, but creepy, fellow travelers who vaunt their attraction to psychopathic violence, who are titillated by their superficial likeness to perpetrators of stomach-turning violence and defilement? Are they too “disordered”?’

  16. Adam permalink

    Some people are saying that it is perfectly normal to have this “harmless school girl crush”, but I think that is simply not true. It is harmful to everyone that is around you, in the sense that they are probably very uncomfortable in your pressence and having to listen to the twisted version of reality that you are most likely saying to them.
    Now I am a pretty tolerant guy that has dealt with more than my fair share of “disturbed” individuals, but seriously lady, you need to seek psyciatric help, and your husband needs to find himself a good divorce lawyer and sue for full custody of your children, and then run as far away from you as possible.

  17. Stu permalink

    I can’t even believe i’m responding to this BS, this page and idea seem so inhumane and ridiculous but in case this isn’t just some sick joke i’m going to give you a dose of reality. If you are in fact being real then you must be in the same dark place as Luka himself. How dare you question the authencity of the crime he committed, he is guilty and should and will be locked up for the rest of his life. If for some reason he escapes incarceration there are far worse punishments waiting for him on the outside. Take my word for it Luka will never walk free on this earth again. As for you have some compassion for the victim and all those effected by the evil doings of this sick freak. Maybe someone close to you needs to be removed from this world in the same manner as Luka’s victim and you can write a blog about that. Do not feel sorry for Luka he chose his own path and has sealed his own fate. You said you feel sad for him because he never experienced love well don’t worry he’ll get all sorts of love in jail. The other inmates will show him brutal love with their fists and whatever else they can get there hands on. At least he can get some muscle on that girly frame of his now as he’ll have plenty of time to work out. Good looking are you kidding me? You must be as unattractive on the outside as you are on the inside if you think this piece of shit is in anyway attractive. I have girlfriends who aren’t as feminen as he is. I’ll leave you with a piece of advice, abandon this idiotic, childish and cruel attempt to bring attention to yourself. It’s pathetic and it breeds hatred. You are condoning cold blooded murder and that makes you a bad person. You know how the saying goes bad things happen to bad people.

  18. Robin permalink

    Why is this on Toronto News?

  19. Tina permalink

    When I first saw the face of Luka, I too thought he was good-looking and vulnerable, I had to look into what he had done that was so bad, I will even confess to being a little obsessed myself with this handsome bad boy! Wow, I was shocked to learn about the video, the Ice pick one, and probably felt like a lot of people in the way that, I didnt want to watch it, but just sort of, out of morbid curiousity had to. I sat with my hands covering my eyes through most of it and was very nearly physically sick.I have never felt so guilty in my life for watching it, I felt like I had done something very wrong to Patrick Jun Lin, (God Bless Him ), I felt like a witness to his murder. The utter humiliation Jun Lin would feel if he knew what had been publicly shown about him, shocking. I had to sincerely apologies to him, Spiritually, and hope he forgives me for watching it. That was my first step in realising that Luka is not worth the attention I was giving him.Then I learned his name wasnt so impressive either, going from a sexy name of Luka to plain Eric. I learned also that he wasnt born looking like he does, his hansome face is nothing but cosmetically constructed, what a turn off..and his life? well, it was all just fantasy and lies. So my first thoughts of, wow, who is this good looking sexy bi-sexual bad boy? turns into the reality of a very wimpy man, obsessed with only himself and his looks, earned his living by performing in murdering snuff movies, not a friend in the world due to his unlikable personality, he is by all accounts, a loser. Please don’t excuse his behaviour on a sad, abusive childhood, do you know how many adults in the world, (myself included ), suffered as children? some far worst than Eric, trust that! Its not an excuse. just remind yourself that even the devil can appear as an Angel in disguise, and evil works in wierd ways, its the evil in Eric that reaches out to you, the evil is the obsession, it wants you to be in hell along with him. Get rid and get happy. Thanks for reading.

  20. Emily permalink

    I’m with you on this. I saw the breaking news when it first happened and I was like “oh I’ll look him up and see what’s going on”. I regret it now because it quickly turned into me searching on line and waiting for news updates all day. I would check at least every half hour to see if there were leads, more in the hope that he was alright than if he was arrested. I’m glad I’m not the only one. I want to put out that I don’t support his decisions. Obviously, nobody deserves to be murdered, but as we mourn for Lin, we forget that Luka is a human as well and has had more than his share of torture and negativity. I want to listen to him, get to know him and his past because somewhere deep in his psyche there is a reason and a driving force behind his actions. It is the same with all murderers, there is always a trigger-even when it doesn’t seem like there is one. We need to understand and learn to see the signs of breaking psyches in children and adolescents, and know how to take action to stop the cycle of murder. He’s a beautiful monster, but inside every monster there is a human.

  21. Tom permalink

    This website is quite interesting. Recently I’ve been reading up more and more about him from here in Britain. I actually can’t help but find him to be rather attractive and certainly an “interesting” character. I can’t comment on the crimes but it’s a real shame about what happened. We’re all entitled to an opinion whatever it might be. I was actually slightly jealous of the Sun newspaper journalist getting to meet him. Cue more hateful comments… :(

  22. lexa, u rock, dont listen to these idiots that dont know damaged people are human……….

  23. Lexa is perfect you speak with your heart and without shame, there are people around you who understand, listen and let people who do not judge what he can not change … we all react differently and your blog is just great, full and neat … continue, I do not comment often but I’ve always read your new articles. :-)

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